How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
