i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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