I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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