I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
