I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
