Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
