I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
