There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
