We won't sleep together?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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