then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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