dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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