i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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