Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
