my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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