he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
