On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
