just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
