I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
