I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
