Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
