Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
