i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
