i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
