would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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