I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
