I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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