Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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