Got a toothbrush?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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