Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
