he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
