I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
