the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
