Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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