I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
