i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
