I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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