Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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