My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
