It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
