Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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