We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
