Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Duck Duck Cougar?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
