I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
