Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
