Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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