piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
