I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
