2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
