Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
