I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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