forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The uberlube is also flammable
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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