ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
