Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
