i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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