just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
