Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
